characters: baby ballerina, mommy ballerina with guest artist & help du jour - grandpa
the bad guys: an injured knee & crutches, a too hot & too small bed in a house that isn't ours, an irritating cold with runny noses & coughs, an impatient mommy with a short temper & need for sleep
scene 1:
baby ballerina is down for the night in her crib. she awakens. she is carried by grandpa into the bedroom of mommy ballerina, where she joins mommy & nurses for a bit & falls asleep. mommy falls asleep a long 45 minutes later.
scene 2:
baby ballerina is restless.... tossing & turning & waking mommy ballerina. this continues for 45 minutes. baby ballerina decides to do her exercises..... lunge, kick, turn, toss, crawl, kick, squirm, push, bounce, kick (emphasis on kicking). this continues for 45 minutes. mommy ballerina is awake & tired but calmly & quietly wrangling the excited, energized baby. then baby ballerina's mood turns sour as she cries, wails, & screams. this continues for 45 minutes. all the while grandpa is waiting outside the room, concerned for the ballerinas.
scene 3:
mommy ballerina quietly holds baby ballerina as she nears the end of her crying spell. they cuddle, nurse & baby ballerina starts to drift off. but she awakens again & cries & coughs & coughs & cries. they snuggle & nurse again. finally baby ballerina is asleep. mommy ballerina tries to drift off, all the while feeling relieved & proud as she did not raise her voice, get frustrated or upset during the middle of the night scenes.
synopsis...... so i'm writing about this because i feel like i was the mom i wanted to be last night. the previous night the same scenario happened but my reaction was way different. lena has been sick & not sleeping well & i've been sick & tired & am frustrated with these crutches. the night before was a chaotic mix of lena crying or playing around, me irritatingly snapping at her about why she won't sleep, grandpa running lena back to her crib, back to my bed, back to the crib, back to the bed & none of us had a good night. so even though i am tired & i really want her to sleep more tonight, i feel a sense of accomplishment that i quietly, calmly dealt with her erratic lack of sleep problem. i was quiet the whole time, minus a few times at the end when i comforted her as she was crying. i just kinda let her do her thing.... was there to protect her from rolling off the bed, but did not give into her crying, did not try to make her do anything, i just sat there & let her experience what she was going to go through. i am not really up for letting her cry it out at night, which many people suggest i do. i just don't feel right about it. & we haven't totally ditched the sleeping in the big bed. before the surgery we were close to all night in her crib, but now that i can't easily carry her to her crib after night nursing, i kinda just let her stay in bed with me. i like the closeness with her, but man, this girl is big... & pushy & takes up the whole bed. so i think once i can walk again we'll get back to the all night crib thing. i'll let ya know how that goes..... here's a good article about crying it out..... i think a lot of this applies for long periods of crying, but still i just can't handle her crying for too long.....
No comments:
Post a Comment