sad farewells

yesterday was my last day at work. "work". how lucky i've been. i am so blessed to have such incredible people in my life. these past 5 years have been incredible & i'm gonna miss my 2nd home so much.

my middle schoolers threw me a party on thurs, complete with a beautiful cupcake cake, thoughtful gifts & letters. one of my students made me a pillow & the students all signed it & then after i had opened the gift, they all passed around the pillow to hug it ...... "now ms. amy whenever you hug this pillow, it's like you're getting a hug from each one of us." wow. pushing back the tears now.

then during company class, todd finished early & they broke out the sparkling grape juice & we shared a toast to new beginnings..... i hate that it has to end.

yesterday, we had a little party where all the students signed a t-shirt for me & we watched videos & played ddr. i love my students! they are a very very special bunch.

so now, i have my t-shirt, my cards, my flowers, my pictures, but the best gift of all is the past 5 years. the bond i have with these students, the teachers, all of NFB! i will miss them so very much, but i have so many memories and maybe one day i'll be back.......

what the f tuesdays

ok, not that today was bad, but difficult. i won't go into detail, but the reality of this move is sinking in. we have the date, approximately....... i never commit to anything anymore, you never know- with the military. i used to be so definite, now i'm much more the "as of now" type of girl.

ugh, i'm facing it all now...... or it's making itself more clear..........

only 3 days to visit with my mom & sister before i move across the world for 2 years. flowers from one of my 4th graders today & a card she wrote (beautifully) that made me cry. got teary when i was teaching my 8th graders.... i thought back to when they were in 3rd grade & how they've grown over the years. thinking about starting a family when we get to guam, not being ready.... tuesday talks. watching rehearsal for snow scene in nutcracker, not being able to perform. ugh.

well, the positive, is that i'm searching for the positive, i want to find the good that is here. there is abundant positivity, & i know it & i'm excited about this move, but it's alot. no matter what life brings, there is always worth & there is always value & i'm gonna keep bringing that up, because it's so easy to complain & it's so easy to feel put off or that things are unfair or "if only"......... well, this is it........ & i like "it", i'm not trying to be all rosey colored glasses. but damn, "it's" good. there is so much that's good. but IT is hard. & THAT is good. if it was easy would anyone value "IT"?

thank goodness tuesday is over. only 2 more until i get to be face to face with the ONE. MY ONE. i only have about a week & a half until i stop working regularly. yay & ouch. i feel a bit more ouch right now.

today made me nostalgic, sad, hesitant to leave?

today my students (almost all of them!) were fantastic! i had three great classes of students focused, involved, excited, positive, invested..... i'll admit a little chatty on occasion, but they were happy & excited & involved in class. this never happens to such a full extent. i wish i had more days of teaching that were like today. i felt so connected to the kids today & at one point one even dropped to her knees, hugged me & said "you can't leave in october ms. amy!!!!" heartbreaking!!!

the other thing that is difficult is seeing casting go up & knowing i'm not going to be a part of the performances. it's hard for me. i still want to perform, heck, i even want to rehearse. i remind myself how painful & tedious it is, but rehearsing & performing are so rewarding & fulfilling. it's what i do.

today was hard.