fairyland

"There is such a place as fairyland - but only children can find the way to it. And they do not know that it is fairyland until they have grown so old that they forget the way. One bitter day, when they seek it and cannot find it, they realize what they have lost; and that is the tragedy of life. On that day the gates of Eden are shut behind them and the age of gold is over. Henceforth they must dwell in the common light of common day. Only a few, who remain children at heart, can ever find that fair, lost path again; and blessed are they above mortals. They, and only they, can bring us tidings from that dear country where we once sojourned and from which we must evermore be exiles. The world calls them its singers and poets and artists and story-tellers; but they are just people who have never forgotten the way to fairyland."

L.M. Montgomery (The Story Girl)

dance dance dance

so check out this blog post by modish....... it's d for dancing like nobody's watching...... nice video by bon iver & lykke li & then some photos of dance.....

being a permanent tourist

fun weekend & i'm kicking myself for not taking pictures continuously like the rest of the smart tourists do while they're on this beautiful island. anywaay, just imagine in your mind a beautiful tropical island where the weather is perfect, not too hot, not too cold, not too sunny, but not too cloudy & just the right amount of breeze. so nice. i really love guam. jeff & i are planning an ode to guam photo shoot one of these weekends....... we'll be sure to share.

well, the weekend was nice...... jeff's soccer game sat night, his shop had a bbq at the beach on base sun night & today jeff got a comp day off for so many off duty hours he's put in lately & so we went down to a beach in tumon. so nice. it was crazy today though, driving down in tumon is like being in japanese tourist district, but today we saw droves of aussies or kiwis, must be on holiday. anyway, a bit off topic, but somehow still related......

i'm a crazy driver & i get somewhat impatient behind the wheel (that's putting it mildly). but i'm reminded of all the touristy places i've been able to call home & how frustrating it is to be a local constantly battling the roving, unaware tourist. orlando- driving is just plain horrible. charleston- the battle of the horse carriage (always getting stuck behind one on a one way street when you're late to work). fort walton beach- spring breakers or worse- the snow birds. guam- the japanese tourist bus & trolleys...... one consolation is that i'm living a permanent vacation.

another 3 star & a studio tendu

so i just got back from my first ballet class on the island & it was good. interesting, but good. the studio is nice & the woman who taught is great..... an older woman, janet, who trained in the philippines with a man who danced for nycb & balanchine. i can tell with the use of her arms & through her corrections that she knows ballet. the students in the class are young & behind a bit, but all very positive & put forward lots of effort. janet has 2 granddaughters who demonstrate for her, asia & jamaica, both girls are nice & more advanced than the other students. it felt good to be dancing again, the only issue is tuition.

i haven't paid for a dance class since high school. seriously. & the studio is asking $75 for the month, & they offer 3 classes (ballet, jazz & rehearsal - ?) a week. i tried to get some kind of other offer seeing as i'm only interested in the ONE ballet class they offer. but the front desk lady said that was all they could do. i might be able to work something out at the end of my free coupon week..... we'll see. janet & i were talking & she said that she might have me teach some & they pay $30 a class, so if i teach 2 classes a month we're almost even..... the cool thing is that with that $75, you get open use of the studio as long as no class is going on. so that's one unusual perk.

it's weird, but cool, the way things are here..... janet teaches at this studio & another one, as well as directs the guam ballet company. various dancers from different studios all make up the guam ballet company & they all perform together at the U of guam. so different than the states where you have studios competing with each other rather than sharing & supporting. janet says she's gonna take me down to the other studio for other classes because they're more advanced & i think she wants to make me her 3rd granddaughter. albeit, much older granddaughter. she's super sweet & everyone was super impressed (not to sound conceited) & i even got a "you're pure perfection" from a 12 year old. how funny! but it felt so good to be reconnected to dancers & a studio. i just have to figure out how to get around this $75 a month thing.

now, on to the 3 star.....

it's been cope north training stuff the past 2 weeks on base..... japanese pilots & visitors are here for training exercises. & jeff gets to go around on the DV (distinguished visitor) visits taking photos & doing his thing. well on fri jeff got coined by a 3 star japanese general, which is kinda unusual & quite an honor. way cool! & jeff said that the general kept telling jeff to make him look like tom cruise in his photos! how funny!

off to jeff's soccer game tonight..... i'm already ridiculously sore..... can't wait for the 3 day. it's always the 3 day that is the worst. i've never not danced for this long & i'm gonna pay for these 5 months off. but it's worth it!

and the clouds part

well, now i have 2 dance options for tonight! i could go to the swan ballet to take an advanced class with 9 year olds from 6-7....... or i could go meet janet bourgeois with guam ballet company to get a coupon for free ballet classes next week. i'd meet her at 6pm & i could watch a rehearsal for an upcoming show. which should i do? i think i'm leaning more toward meeting janet (she also said they had the best ballet out of anyone on the island & she's the teacher, she would know right? not biased or anything...)

so i'll post an update about how it goes.......

my heart

happy valentine's day.....

jeff & i went to eat at cali pizza kitchen, delicious! & before that we ventured back to where it all started for us in guam..... the westin. we went to the bar for cocktails.... beautiful view of the ocean & nice martinis..... good conversation, perfect for date night. we had deep conversation about family, career, guam, our futures...... i think we both are in adaptation modes with our lives. trying to figure it all out.

& my heart. i really really love my family..... & i've been away from them forever, living apart since my sophomore year of high school..... so it's nothing new that i'm not living in my hometown with my family close by. i think more than distance it's an age thing. i'm at the point now where i feel close to my family, more than ever before. mine & jeff's. i'm super duper close with jeff's parents & so my relationship with them also factors into this emotional babble too. & i've never thought this way before, but i'm actually thinking that if we don't have our own children, we'll miss out on a huge part of life..... no graduations, no weddings, no grand children. we have nephews & a new one is due any day now. (his sister was having contractions yesterday- so i mean literally... ANY DAY) but, i want to add to this beautiful family we're a part of. the branches of this huge family tree beckon to me & whisper words of beautiful responsibility...... does that make sense? i don't want to fall short. i'm physically so far removed & have always played the role of the outsider, & now my age is clearing my mind & pointing the path towards reconnecting to my roots.

so corny. gosh. but it's valentine's day & this is my heart speaking & i'm not gonna censor for the fact that this glass of vino has persuaded me not to. & it's freaking valentine's day. so there.

ps. jeff's surprise was a key necklace from tiffany's. we have yet to purchase it, but he got it for me...... he has the key to my heart & i have his. ugh, too sacchrine sweet.

and now it hits me

like a ton of bricks.... i want to dance again. i want to be in a real studio with real dance clothes on dancing to real class music. it's weird to think back on how often i hated putting on tights, or putting my hair back, or hearing the same cd over & over again in class...... but now i have a deep ache..... it only took 5 months away from it to really sink in. the last class i took was around oct 9th. & up until now i wasn't feeling the urge too much.

jeff & i drove around for 2 hours yesterday trying to find a dance studio someone told me about. ok, let me take you back a little bit. we got to guam & not that i had a big desire to plop back into a studio, but i just wanted to know what options i had (that & i had used half of my suitcase to fit leotards, tights, shoes, thera-bands & even a pair of pointe shoes into & felt obligated to at least scope out the dance scene- still haven't gotten around to using any of those items)..... anyway, so i looked in the phone book under dance studios & there were about 5 or 6 (one title was completely written in chamorro, so i had no idea what type of dance studio it was). ok, now the guam phone book is not like in the states.... no address included, only a name & a number. so i called all the studios & only got machines & a surprising number of "this number is no longer in service"....... dead end.

so one day when i was driving to the dmv i spotted a dance store- a real dance store with bloch & capezio & sansha written all over the windows. didn't have time to stop in, but figured i'd come back one day & ask them about the dance scene in guam. well, go figure the day i go the store had closed, & not just closed to reopen the next day, but shut down. no more. only a "for rent" sign in the place where "sansha" had once been. dead end.

SO, on another day i went to a yoga class at the gym on base & saw a girl dressed in dance clothes- street clothes over her tights, hair in a bun, no mistaking- this girl dances. so i went up to her & asked politely if she was a dancer & of course, yes. so i chatted her up about where she danced, what kind of classes, etc. she told me about an adult ballet class on wed nights at body arts near the agana shopping center. awesome! so a few weeks pass, because i'm still not desperately wanting to hit the studio- still into the yoga/ pilates shift, the jewelry making, the looking into my "what other interests do i have in my life" phase...... but now i'm chomping at the bit to cram my feet into pointe shoes & all thoughts aside about how weak i am at this point, i just want to be in a studio!!!!! ...... so jeff & i set off yesterday to find this place. 2 hours of driving & we found the shopping center & no side street untraversed, we could not find it! & this studio is one of those where the number in the phone book doesn't work. another DEAD END.

so now, not sure what the next step is...... i'll just tombè my little (bigger) butt right back into the living room carpet dance scene, for now...... until the dance gods smile down on me & present some other options......

hmm... update.....

well, things are good..... jeff joined a soccer team, the toyota 4runners, & played a game last friday 4-0! yay! he has another game this saturday, go jeffy!

i am going to fill out an application & try to get a job teaching ballet to wee ones at the CDC (child development center), might even put in to sub at the elementary & middle school too while i'm at it. i talked to a woman at the CDC & she said they need a ballet teacher & that they'd have me in for an interview within a week or two ("with your credentials")..... so we'll see where that goes.....

making more jewelry, well working on one piece that is taking a while, every part of the necklace is a hand shaped wire chain thingy (working on my professional terminology) & it's taking forever to finish. but it'll be beautiful when it's done. i'll post pics later.....

so that i think covers it..... went to gab gab beach on sat, a baby shower on sun & jeff has some upcoming plan for valentine's day...... which, if you knew us (well, most of you do) you'd know that we don't really celebrate v day..... last year he sent me flowers, mostly because he had left for basic training the week before. we usually celebrate (everything - holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, "it's tuesday", "it's the weekend", "i haven't gone to the commissary") with our usual..... eating out! our weakness. so we'll see what he has up his sleeve for this weekend!

"way to go keeper"

on the sidelines

grilling out

lunch at the marina at navy (the water is gorgeous!)

winding wire jewelry

so i think i decided on a name for my jewelry...... winding wire. & i set up a facebook page! now here's hoping people will want to wear some of my pieces! i'm making a lot of new stuff & will have more photos soon! & eventually will have more necklaces.....

ps. i make custom pieces too! just got in a shipment of new gemstones - rose quartz, moss agate, yellow jasper & snowflake obsidian........