what the f tuesdays

ok, not that today was bad, but difficult. i won't go into detail, but the reality of this move is sinking in. we have the date, approximately....... i never commit to anything anymore, you never know- with the military. i used to be so definite, now i'm much more the "as of now" type of girl.

ugh, i'm facing it all now...... or it's making itself more clear..........

only 3 days to visit with my mom & sister before i move across the world for 2 years. flowers from one of my 4th graders today & a card she wrote (beautifully) that made me cry. got teary when i was teaching my 8th graders.... i thought back to when they were in 3rd grade & how they've grown over the years. thinking about starting a family when we get to guam, not being ready.... tuesday talks. watching rehearsal for snow scene in nutcracker, not being able to perform. ugh.

well, the positive, is that i'm searching for the positive, i want to find the good that is here. there is abundant positivity, & i know it & i'm excited about this move, but it's alot. no matter what life brings, there is always worth & there is always value & i'm gonna keep bringing that up, because it's so easy to complain & it's so easy to feel put off or that things are unfair or "if only"......... well, this is it........ & i like "it", i'm not trying to be all rosey colored glasses. but damn, "it's" good. there is so much that's good. but IT is hard. & THAT is good. if it was easy would anyone value "IT"?

thank goodness tuesday is over. only 2 more until i get to be face to face with the ONE. MY ONE. i only have about a week & a half until i stop working regularly. yay & ouch. i feel a bit more ouch right now.