preggo update

so i'm currently at 19 weeks (photo at 18 weeks) & finally got a doctors appointment for this friday (i'll be 20 weeks). i've been seen once the whole time i've been pregnant..... at 12 weeks. now there is kinda a long story here.... part of this is due to my trip back to the states. i had my 16 week appointment rescheduled for a week & half later so i could spend more time in the states & while i was stateside the clinic called to reschedule the reschedule.... so i had my new date.... july 2 & i would have been 18 weeks. well, turns out there was no appointment then, they had rescheduled me again & put my appointment at june 30, but no one ever called or consulted me. i had no way of knowing that there was any change. so long story short, i'm in the states trying to get back to make it in time for my appointment & i make it back a few days before. well jeff finds out from a friend that he ran into at the gym the day of our "appointment" that there is a change of command that AM & there were no appointments that morning & that i had a no show a week before.

so after calls of trying to reschedule, we finally went in to talk to someone & now we have an appointment! & i hope they removed it from my file that i was a "no show". i bought a commercial ticket back to make sure i was there for my appointment that didn't exist, that's how committed i am. but after all is said & done, i just want to see the doc & make sure baby is healthy & everything is going the way it should....

we might not get an ultrasound on friday, they said it was just a basic check up, but i'm gonna plead with the doc to see the soonest we can get one. supposedly at 20 weeks is an ultrasound & you find out the sex. i really hope they don't push us back too far. my sister has her appointment tomorrow & she'll find out girl or boy! so excited for her!! & here's hoping that her appointment goes well & that friday brings good news for us & i'm just a slightly worried anxious new mom with a healthy growing baby that just hasn't needed to see the doctor that often..... :)

time in virginia

gotta catch up my posts on my visit home, visit to florida & journey back to guam! ok, so i had a great time in va, eating fresh veggies from my mom's garden, shopping for maternity clothes, having my mom, who's a certified reiki master perform some reiki on me, going with my sister to her doctor's visit, which is a funny story...... so i think it was maybe both our 16 week & ash had her appointment & i wanted so badly to ask the doc to listen to my baby's heartbeat too, but i kinda chickened out at the last minute...... but ash & i both took note & gave each other the mischievous eye when the doc put the stethescope (?) back in the drawer on his way out. but then decided not to "play doctor" because we were sure we would break the heartbeat listening contraption & have a nurse walk in on us & wonder what the heck these two crazy women were doing. but we heard one baby heartbeat & it was great!

so toward the end of my stay i had a special visit from jeff's sister & her husband & my two nephews! mayer & i are best buds, but it was my first time meeting grayson, the newest addition.... we had a nice day together & they are moving to germany in a few weeks, so it was wonderful i was able to see them before they left!

my nephew mayer & me - we had so much fun playing around!

the whole crew (slightly blurry, but it's us)

my new nephew grayson, the happiest baby ever!

on my other side (my sister's son), my nephew cohen..... pool day!

and then my sister threw me a baby shower! it was great seeing my family & getting sweet little baby gifts. it's funny trying to shop without knowing the gender, we ended up with lots of duck themed items.....

my sister, nephew cohen & me

momma & me (the clothes pins are from the don't say the word "baby" game.... at this point i was winning, but shortly after this photo i got taken by my cousin who won the game)

the 3 preggies.... my sister ashely, my cousin april (who just gave birth to her beautiful girl emery!) & me

the centerpiece that broke my camera (more on that after the photos), but this is a special centerpiece.... it's been in the family since my granny was pregnant. & it's been at every baby shower in the family since!

this is only about half of the duckie goods..... i still have lots of stuff at my mom's that she's shipping...... but it gives you an idea......

& i broke our camera! i think back on all the times i took it to the beach, was a little tipsy from too many margaritas, all the other clumsy times i slugged that camera around & what a stupid time for it to finally break.... i was taking a picture of the centerpiece at the shower & dropped it right smack on the lens...... & i was sober! it was mildly upsetting because i knew i wouldn't be able to take any photos in florida....... oh well, these things happen. & jeff got us a good deal on a new camera that we like better anyway, so......

well, next post i'll finish up my time in florida & the fun time i had trying to get back to guam!

the journey stateside

i've not posted in a bit because i've been stateside visiting & busy or i've been trying to get stateside. it took me a total of 3 days to get here, 3 longs days with no bed or shower, which is hard but even harder when you're pregnant. but overall i had great luck with space a & commercial flights.
i only got denied one hop (a kc-10, very few seats) before i got on one that left memorial day. had to be at the terminal at 3something AM, but it was worth it. i was on a c-17 & the seats weren't as uncomfortable as everyone says. we also were really lucky because there wasn't much cargo so the whole plane was basically empty & everyone spread out blankets & laid on the floor. well after about a 7hour flight we got to hawaii- sunday evening. going back in time was weird & took me a minute to realize the time change. there was an uncomfortable 12 hour layover before the plane left for cali. & if i had it to do over, i wouldn't hesitate to get a room. trying to sleep in a hard plastic chair with your luggage propped up so you can extend your legs without getting a cramp in your side does not a sleep make. so i was very happy when roll call came around again to get back on the plane that allows you to camp out on the floor.
so we leave monday morning, AGAIN & this time a short 5 something hour flight & then we're in cali. & it's evening again & i call a shuttle to take me to san fran airport so i can get on a flight to the east coast. at this point i'm crabby, dirty, hungry but so excited to be stateside. the drive to the airport was amazing! i've never been so excited to see a highway/ interstate! we drove past downtown & the san fran bridge, but it was dark & fog was rolling in so visibility wasn't much. i was still blown away at seeing the roads stateside. (guam people will understand)
so i get to the airport around 11pm & try to convince the delta guy to book me on a 1am flight to charlotte for $146. haha. well, he couldn't do it but suggested i go book it online where i had seen that amazing deal prior to our conversation. but once i get to the uso & get online the 1am flight was no longer available at a price i was willing to pay, so i settled on a 6am flight for close to about $200. the uso people were so nice & let me camp out on the couch & they even gave me a wake up call for 330am.
so again starts day 3 of flights..... & this time i'm on commercial so i'm not looking forward to tight seats with no leg room. but the flights weren't that long & even after about an 1.5 hour delay in atlanta (delta & atl, of course there is a delay) i arrive in charlotte to my beautiful momma waiting for me!!
so i've been enjoying my mom's cooking & pampering & seeing my sister & nephew (& eating chick-fil-a, sonic & panera) for about a week now. i've even been to a real mall & target! & let me tell you going to a grocery store for the first time blew me away. the selection & quality & prices of the products where unbelievable! i miss real grocery stores!
i miss my husband & my friends in guam & right now that's about all. love you guam, but it feels good to be home!
i feel very lucky that i made it over with no major issues..... all the planes left when they were supposed to, safe flights, a little greasy & tired, but overall totally worth it to get home to be with my family! i'm looking forward to a busy week with more family visits, an impromptu baby shower & then off to florida to visit more family & friends! i'll post pictures later!!

the heartbeat

yay! we had our first appointment today & we heard the baby's heartbeat for the 1st time! 158 beats per minute! so excited!

tag

yesterday was the one year anniversary of when our sweet doggy tag passed away. he was the best dog ever & we have so many memories of him. i think of tag all the time still & he'll always be in our hearts.

we love you sweet baby boy & miss you everyday!

as a puppy... a puppy puppet

lettuce face

showing off one of his tricks. he could balance on his back legs forever

11 weeks

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 11 weeks

Size of baby: Size of a large lime! - copied from Ash's blog, i read that at 11 weeks the size is more like a fig..... lime, fig....

Total Weight Gain/Loss: nothing really - i think between eating everything & then all the throwing up, i'm balancing out

Maternity Clothes: i haven't officially bought any yet, but wearing medium sizes & feeling that everything is very snug. i think this is the weekend i go shopping at the maternity store.....

Gender: dunno, maybe a girl. i still have a weird feeling they might be twins. i hope i'm completely out of my mind wrong.

Movement: Nope not yet

Food Cravings: everything, except anything bbq. i love citrus (like i am drowning myself in lemonade) but i think it triggers my puking.

What I miss: my family & being more active

Sleep: not very comfortable - achy body & lots of peeing keep me from sleeping through the night

Symptoms: nausea, vomiting, being forgetful (& sometimes stupid), headaches, body aches, smelling EVERYTHING

Best Moment this week: getting through an 1.5 hr of yoga after puking & not feeling well. & not pregnancy related, but jeff is now on the guam men's national team (soccer) & started training this week!

What I am looking forward to: the 1st appointment next week!!!

happy mother's day.... late

i think i've not been the best blogger lately. not sure if that's because there is nothing really to blog about (only so many posts i can devote to puking) or that my pregnant brain is way too out of control for a cohesive, witty (not that any previous posts ever were) entry. so i'm gonna say happy mother's day 2 days late. thank goodness i got cards & gifts out for the actual day. & in keeping with my lazy blogger style will steal from other bloggers to make this post worthy of publishing.

so my sister is the best. she helped coordinate a gift for our momma. & she wrote the sweetest blog about how wonderful our momma is. read it here.

and my friend terrell wrote a hilarious, spot on post for guys to have a good mothers day. i suggest all fathers/ sons/ husbands read this. you can also reference her list for other holidays such as birthdays or any time you've found your self in the doghouse & would like to make amends with your sweet wifey. read here.

here are my two favorite mommas......

jeff's momma, with jeff & his poppa

& me & my momma

9 weeks & counting, um puking

so i got this template from my sister & she's doing the same on her blog & i thought it'd be nice to keep the family & friends back home updated on the preggo highlights. so here ya go.....

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 9 weeks & 2 days (who's counting?)

Size Of Baby: The embryo measures about 0.9 inches to 1.2 inches from crown to rump, or the size of a strawberry. The arms and legs are longer, and the fingers might be a little swollen where the touch pads are forming. The head is more erect and neck is more developed. Your baby now moves its body and limbs, and this movement can be visible during an ultrasound, but you won't be able to feel it yet. (copied from ash's blog)

Maternity Clothes: no, but i'm now in medium big girl panties & yoga pants & my tummy busts over my regular jeans & i can not wear a fitted top because i think i look really thick

Gender: i was feeling it was a girl, but after 2 days of violent puking sessions, i think she might be a he....

Movement: nope, but it'll be exciting when it happens!

Food Cravings: yes, everything that can not be found on this island... papa johns, panera, firehouse subs, arbys. other than that i will crave something & then when i eat it it's not what i'm expecting it to be. not very satisfied by food lately. oh & the puking, that makes eating not as fun. i won't go into detail.

What I miss: being close to my family. that's the biggest. other than that i hate that i miss going out & doing stuff because i'm sick.

Sleep: pretty good, minus lots of peepee trips at night & having pains in my joints when i'm sleeping.

Symptoms: nausea, puking, sore boobies, achy joints, being tired, being hungry, being dramatic (can i blame that on being pregnant?)

Best Moment this week: going to a friend's doctor's appointment & hearing the baby's heartbeat!

What I am looking forward to: my first doc's appointment on may 20! & getting out of the first trimester. this is not fun, but oh so worth it.

blueberries

well today i had an ob orientation at the health & wellness center on base. you know, talks on nutrition for the baby, dental health, when appointments will be & what they'll do at each appointment. i got very scared during the dental briefing because she showed us pictures of a pregnancy tumor that can happen on your gums during pregnancy. ok, i'm not the best at flossing & lately every time i brush my teeth i'm gagging, so i'm freaking out that i'm gonna get some big-ol-gum-growth out of my mouth during these next 7 months. anyway, there were about 7 preggos (including my seat mate vanessa, she works in jeff's office & she's at 9 weeks) in the briefing & they had us fill out our charts. which the charts are full of stuff - stuff you'd expect like past family history forms, genetic screening tests forms, etc..... then other forms like the one that asks you about your birthing plan. they get right down to it asking such questions as "do you want to change positions when you're pushing?" "would you like the use of a mirror to see your baby being born?" "would you like the lights dim?" "would you like to see the placenta?" i mean stuff i wasn't even prepared to think about. woah. & it's weird they ask us now, before we even get to talk with a doctor or hear the baby's heart beat.

they scheduled everyone's appointments for their 12 week (1st) appointment. but my doc is off island so i can't see him until 13 weeks.... that's a long time to wait to see the doc for the 1st time. in fact, my sister (who has the same exact preggo dates as me - we're both 7 weeks) saw her doc today & got a sonogram & everything! they even scheduled her c-section delivery. (she had a previous delivery via c-section) she'll have her baby nov 24! how exciting! it's crazy the way things work out..... mom will be there for ash's delivery & then hop on over here for grandbaby #2 (well, 3rd one technically, but the 2nd one to be delivered this year)

ugh, i just want to see the doc soon! it's hard to wait & wonder how my little seed is doing. i'm still feeling queasy, i have the nose of a bloodhound, i eat & pee all the time & have a little tummy pooch already. so exciting! the baby is the size of a blueberry now & has little hands & feet that are like paddles! (according to babycenter.com) more to come later!

a fantastic giveaway!

ok, you all must rush over to my best guam friend's blog to enter her giveaway! the prize is a fantastic, unique, beautiful (i could go on & on) pair of earrings made by moi! the deadline is in a few days (i'm a bit behind because of these preggo pains) so you need to hurry if you want to win a free pair of earrings!!

an easter egg

ok, i've been just dying to blog about this & have waited over a week (which when you have a secret this exciting the week feels like FOREVER)..... so the wonderful news is...... we're pregnant! yay! we're gonna have a little baby! i just can't believe it! we found out march 27 after 2 positive home pregnancy tests, which i took after an intuitive feeling & a lot of pregnant talk 2 days before. a friend i do yoga class with told me she was pregnant on a wed, then on thurs i found out my sister is pregnant, so i just kinda had this feeling i should take a test & see if maybe i am too. well, it turns out that yes i'm on that pregnant train too. but my sister & i have the exact same dates! we're going through this together & i couldn't ask for a more extraordinary experience! it's wonderful!! our mom is over the moon thrilled that she'll have 2 more grandbabies on the way around the same time! but of course i'm on the other side of the globe so that puts a little extra fun/ stress into the situation. it'd be so funny if i was at home for the birth & my sis & i did this movie style with the doc running between our rooms catching those birthing babies!

so i'm (we're) 5 weeks preggo & it looks like the due date is set for dec 2 as of now. which is the day after jeff's birthday, 6 days before his sister's birthday, 10 days before my nephew's birthday & 11 days before my sister's birthday. i guess our families have something for december, or would it be march? heehee.

so i had been feeling great, not tired or sick, really not many symptoms at all & i'm thinking "oh, this pregnant thing is a breeze. i get to eat all the time, i don't have to suck in my tummy & people get to be excited for me & i get to gush about the wonderful news!" well, still gushing, but in between sickness now. i feel nauseous a lot, have really bad headaches, my back hurts & i feel hot all the time. which i'm always the person that has the thermostat set at 79 degrees & still need to curl up under the blanket on the couch because i'm cold.

but being pregnant is cool. just knowing that there is this little baby growing inside me, who at this point in time is the size of a sesame seed, it's just so incredible. my body feels different, my boobs got bigger (that was the only thing i noticed before we took the tests that gave me any kinda hint that things were different), my hips have gotten bigger (which my dance teacher did not hesitate to mention saturday when i took ballet class & told her the news, gee thanks) & my clothes are all fitting a bit tighter. time to get some bigger stuff. oh boy, not looking forward to moving up the size charts.

so i foresee a bunch of posts about this baby, my growing belly & our birthing adventures here on guam. i hope to continue to dance while i'm pregnant, i've been told your pirouettes improve when you're preggo, so we'll see. so that's our news! we're having a boonie baby!

winding wire update

so i have some new items up at etsy for sale. here is a peek at what i've been working on..... got more coming soon!

giveaway

so one of my awesome guam friends is doing a giveaway..... some pretty fantastic items from this side of the globe...... table runner & place settings from hong kong, homemade journal from thailand (really beautiful) & of course an i heart guam t-shirt! so go over there & leave her a comment, follow her blog (it's a pretty great one) & maybe you'll win!! click here & good luck!

so guam-y

ok, imagine laying in bed, deep in sleep & then feeling your husband wake up, so you wake up & you both stare dumbfounded down the hallway at 2am...... the lights are on & they weren't on when we went to sleep. so your husband gets that anxious feeling, while you're still half in sleep, babbling for him to go turn them off. then you realize "oh, yeah, this isn't supposed to happen" & then get anxious feelings for your husband as he stealthy-ly sneaks down the hallway on guard for an intruder. and you start to think, "do i sleep walk?", "does my husband sleepwalk?"...... then you get the "all's clear" from the hubs & get out of bed to help turn out the 2 lights that are on in the hallway & the dinning room entrance. well, as you're living in guam in base housing, turning off these lights is a bit more difficult than one would think. because the power has gone out. in the entire house. you don't see the glaring numbers from the alarm clock & you feel the hot air & think "oh yeah, this happens in guam.... a lot"...... "but why are those two lights on & why don't any of these switches turn them off?" so you stumble back to the bedroom, lights still on (really no switches would turn them off) & decide to open a window, shut the bedroom door & try to go back to sleep, sans hot covers..... then you wake in the morning to a house powered back on & two random lights back off & wonder if this was a dream or just a typical guam evening when the power goes out.

more downward dogs, less developés

it's so funny the way things develop. about a year ago i was ballet-ing at least 6 days a week & not able to really cross-train (most days too exhausted to even cook dinner). & was in pain more often than i'd like..... i was in great ballet-fighting shape, but i really craved balance for my body (& for my spirit). doing the same very precise, somewhat unnatural movements everyday really wears on the body. tight hip flexors, tight IT band, sore everywhere, continuous knee clicking & jamming....... everyday.

not even a block from the dance studio is a yoga studio & i would look out the window while we were at barre wishing i could skip class & go take yoga (& i'll admit just as many days i also wanted to escape to go enjoy sweet potato fries & a cold glass of chardonnay at the fabulous big city restaurant right across the street) but anyway, i really craved balance. and now the table has flipped..... i now take yoga class about 2 times a week, (with a body conditioning, abs & buns & zumba class thrown in as well) & find myself at the barre a mere once a week. (plus i eat all the sweet potato fries i want...... & chocolate mousse napoleons, carbonaras, pringles, chicken pot pies...... a random assortment of edibles, but it is what i've been eating the past few days) my body feels great, i'm still a bit heavier (could it be those napoleons?) than i was when i was dancing, but i feel more in balance, a less abusive owner of my body.

when i'm in ballet class (saturdays for 2.5 hours- long class & a bit of rehearsing phrases at the end of class) i still feel good, like a dancer, but i am not as "on" as i used to be. the developés are a bit low, no more triple pirouettes & my balances are ok on the left, non existent on the right..... but i feel ok with that. i don't have any reason to push my body, i don't have anywhere i have to "be" dance wise, it's more just about me, in class, doing what i can & i kinda like that. i do miss the theater (my company back in florida is performing coppelia this week), the rehearsals, the accomplishments, the pain & sacrifice..... but i've been through that. i did promise the studio here that i would perform a solo for a demo they're doing at the mall in april. so i have that goal & the rehearsals (more like run through it once & it's ok, so i'm done), to work on. but the performance is gonna be on concrete (will need 2 weeks of yoga to counter the pain from dancing on that) & i'm just doing some waltz turns, chaines & boureés & i don't think anyone expects a lot more than that.

it's a weird thing here, i keep waiting for something to develop...... i know about the demo at the mall & the guam ballet is doing a production of sirena (guam story of a mermaid) in august which they've talked about me being a part of. they say i might be able to teach a class, but nothing is set yet. i guess coming from a place where my roles as teacher & performer were so developed & i had a contract (that makes it all so much more clear) & a pay check (also makes things so much better) & then to here where it took forever just to find a class to take. i suppose it's normal to be trying to get my foot in the door & figuring out where i fit in. i need more patience. i hear my mom singing her patience song in my head ("p, a, t.... i, e, n..... c, e spells patience") which i can laugh about now, but when you're 5 & throwing a tantrum, or maybe even having a 16 year old tantrum, it's not nearly as funny. love ya mom!

& now after spending way too long on this post, i leave you with a photo of those infamous naploeons (which i made myself & felt such pride when a friend told me she thought they were from a restaurant) & some downward dog..... to maintain balance.

(photo from able bodied yoga)

rain on my parade

not that i'm having a parade.

anyway, today in guam it's a monsoon of rain & wind & not sure why (but always seems to be) when you least want or need it to rain it will. so here comes my vent..... we have a leaky valve stem on our tire & for the record, no big deal, but this is our 3rd tire issue in like 3 weeks. last week it was a nail in the tire & before that a leaky stem on another one of the tires. we managed to temporarily fix it with duck tape. thank goodness for duck tape (but could do without the 4 inches of rain in the road) & the car place can get me in at 1:30 today, so that's a relief.

next on the list.....

i hate admitting this but maybe instead of thinking i'm stupid some of you might actually pity me (probably for being stupid). but i lost my wedding ring this weekend. yep, horrible. i set it in my lap in the car to put lotion on (i do this all the time- everyday for the past 4 years) & when i forgot to put it back on my finger & got out of the car it went to the place where all lost things go. i didn't realize it was missing for a bit & i was hoping it was at home, but just in case searched all around the parked car. & nope it wasn't at home, wasn't in the parking lot (which is grass & gravel- you wouldn't expect it to be easy right) & wasn't in the car. i cried for at least 2 hours that night. & went back to the grass & gravel parking lot a day later & searched for 45 minutes.

and finally, we have our tax appointment today. most people are excited to turn in their taxes & await a nice refund check.... not us. because of my job i work with 1099s, independent employee contracts & taxes are not taken out of my checks. so i pay quarterly & usually end up owing extra (somewhere around $2,500) come april 15. so we'll soon find out how much more i have to pay the irs.

ok, but can't leave on a sour note. even though all these crappy things are happening, i have a few things to be thankful for..... duck tape, still having my engagement ring, & not working a full year last year (less money owed). & the rain. makes for a good cuddle under the blanket on the couch & watch movies afternoon. which is exactly what i'll do after all the appointments are over.

ritidian beach

last week i went to this beach with terrell & it was so beautiful. the atmosphere is so nice, it's like being on a secluded island. being surrounded by beautiful trees & butterflies (there were so many butterflies) & then walking down a little path to the vast open ocean was such a magical experience. we went on a thursday & we were almost the only people on the beach. i wanted to take jeff this past weekend & it was nice when we went (sunday) but it was so crowded...... not quite as magical. but still beautiful & we had a nice time.

terrell writes about the experience in a much more interesting way & includes some other photos here in her blog.

good to know....

path looking out at the ocean

one of many....

on a deserted island

coral collage

road at ritidian

kids singing

love this video.... PS22 sings lisztomania by phoenix. so sad that the arts are being cut out of schools.

oh guam

so beautiful......

a shout out

so a trio of us guam bloggers got together for coffee! been reading each others blogs for a bit & finally we all got together today. terrell & i have actually met before & already have a couple of nice beach days under our belts! but yay for new friends, guam friends, blog friends..... terrell & tessa, awesome ladies (click on their names to see their very cool blogs). it will be fun getting to know them more & share guamish experiences together!

an ocean & a sea, & perhaps a coconut tree

perhaps, i love that coy little anticipatory word. but yes perhaps a coconut tree will grow in my yard. today terrell & i went to the beach & i took home 2 coconuts. now, i'll backtrack a bit because if you're my friend on facebook, you've probably seen many a status update related to growing a coconut tree & that i've been wanting to grow a coconut tree for a while now but don't really know anything about growing coconut trees. i look at neighbor's yards & see random coconuts laying about, in the grass or on the patio. & i'll see over time that they start to sprout & then comes a smallish coconut tree. so it seems to be that if you have a coconut it will at some point naturally become a tree. so i'm gonna find out.

while we're at it..... what's the difference between an ocean & a sea? just a random thought i had while laying in bed tonight. yes, i got out of bed to blog about a coconut tree & my lack of 5th grade geography knowledge. sometimes my mind is so loud that it requires some sort of action to shut it up. thanks blog. & now goodnight!

fairyland

"There is such a place as fairyland - but only children can find the way to it. And they do not know that it is fairyland until they have grown so old that they forget the way. One bitter day, when they seek it and cannot find it, they realize what they have lost; and that is the tragedy of life. On that day the gates of Eden are shut behind them and the age of gold is over. Henceforth they must dwell in the common light of common day. Only a few, who remain children at heart, can ever find that fair, lost path again; and blessed are they above mortals. They, and only they, can bring us tidings from that dear country where we once sojourned and from which we must evermore be exiles. The world calls them its singers and poets and artists and story-tellers; but they are just people who have never forgotten the way to fairyland."

L.M. Montgomery (The Story Girl)

dance dance dance

so check out this blog post by modish....... it's d for dancing like nobody's watching...... nice video by bon iver & lykke li & then some photos of dance.....

being a permanent tourist

fun weekend & i'm kicking myself for not taking pictures continuously like the rest of the smart tourists do while they're on this beautiful island. anywaay, just imagine in your mind a beautiful tropical island where the weather is perfect, not too hot, not too cold, not too sunny, but not too cloudy & just the right amount of breeze. so nice. i really love guam. jeff & i are planning an ode to guam photo shoot one of these weekends....... we'll be sure to share.

well, the weekend was nice...... jeff's soccer game sat night, his shop had a bbq at the beach on base sun night & today jeff got a comp day off for so many off duty hours he's put in lately & so we went down to a beach in tumon. so nice. it was crazy today though, driving down in tumon is like being in japanese tourist district, but today we saw droves of aussies or kiwis, must be on holiday. anyway, a bit off topic, but somehow still related......

i'm a crazy driver & i get somewhat impatient behind the wheel (that's putting it mildly). but i'm reminded of all the touristy places i've been able to call home & how frustrating it is to be a local constantly battling the roving, unaware tourist. orlando- driving is just plain horrible. charleston- the battle of the horse carriage (always getting stuck behind one on a one way street when you're late to work). fort walton beach- spring breakers or worse- the snow birds. guam- the japanese tourist bus & trolleys...... one consolation is that i'm living a permanent vacation.

another 3 star & a studio tendu

so i just got back from my first ballet class on the island & it was good. interesting, but good. the studio is nice & the woman who taught is great..... an older woman, janet, who trained in the philippines with a man who danced for nycb & balanchine. i can tell with the use of her arms & through her corrections that she knows ballet. the students in the class are young & behind a bit, but all very positive & put forward lots of effort. janet has 2 granddaughters who demonstrate for her, asia & jamaica, both girls are nice & more advanced than the other students. it felt good to be dancing again, the only issue is tuition.

i haven't paid for a dance class since high school. seriously. & the studio is asking $75 for the month, & they offer 3 classes (ballet, jazz & rehearsal - ?) a week. i tried to get some kind of other offer seeing as i'm only interested in the ONE ballet class they offer. but the front desk lady said that was all they could do. i might be able to work something out at the end of my free coupon week..... we'll see. janet & i were talking & she said that she might have me teach some & they pay $30 a class, so if i teach 2 classes a month we're almost even..... the cool thing is that with that $75, you get open use of the studio as long as no class is going on. so that's one unusual perk.

it's weird, but cool, the way things are here..... janet teaches at this studio & another one, as well as directs the guam ballet company. various dancers from different studios all make up the guam ballet company & they all perform together at the U of guam. so different than the states where you have studios competing with each other rather than sharing & supporting. janet says she's gonna take me down to the other studio for other classes because they're more advanced & i think she wants to make me her 3rd granddaughter. albeit, much older granddaughter. she's super sweet & everyone was super impressed (not to sound conceited) & i even got a "you're pure perfection" from a 12 year old. how funny! but it felt so good to be reconnected to dancers & a studio. i just have to figure out how to get around this $75 a month thing.

now, on to the 3 star.....

it's been cope north training stuff the past 2 weeks on base..... japanese pilots & visitors are here for training exercises. & jeff gets to go around on the DV (distinguished visitor) visits taking photos & doing his thing. well on fri jeff got coined by a 3 star japanese general, which is kinda unusual & quite an honor. way cool! & jeff said that the general kept telling jeff to make him look like tom cruise in his photos! how funny!

off to jeff's soccer game tonight..... i'm already ridiculously sore..... can't wait for the 3 day. it's always the 3 day that is the worst. i've never not danced for this long & i'm gonna pay for these 5 months off. but it's worth it!

and the clouds part

well, now i have 2 dance options for tonight! i could go to the swan ballet to take an advanced class with 9 year olds from 6-7....... or i could go meet janet bourgeois with guam ballet company to get a coupon for free ballet classes next week. i'd meet her at 6pm & i could watch a rehearsal for an upcoming show. which should i do? i think i'm leaning more toward meeting janet (she also said they had the best ballet out of anyone on the island & she's the teacher, she would know right? not biased or anything...)

so i'll post an update about how it goes.......

my heart

happy valentine's day.....

jeff & i went to eat at cali pizza kitchen, delicious! & before that we ventured back to where it all started for us in guam..... the westin. we went to the bar for cocktails.... beautiful view of the ocean & nice martinis..... good conversation, perfect for date night. we had deep conversation about family, career, guam, our futures...... i think we both are in adaptation modes with our lives. trying to figure it all out.

& my heart. i really really love my family..... & i've been away from them forever, living apart since my sophomore year of high school..... so it's nothing new that i'm not living in my hometown with my family close by. i think more than distance it's an age thing. i'm at the point now where i feel close to my family, more than ever before. mine & jeff's. i'm super duper close with jeff's parents & so my relationship with them also factors into this emotional babble too. & i've never thought this way before, but i'm actually thinking that if we don't have our own children, we'll miss out on a huge part of life..... no graduations, no weddings, no grand children. we have nephews & a new one is due any day now. (his sister was having contractions yesterday- so i mean literally... ANY DAY) but, i want to add to this beautiful family we're a part of. the branches of this huge family tree beckon to me & whisper words of beautiful responsibility...... does that make sense? i don't want to fall short. i'm physically so far removed & have always played the role of the outsider, & now my age is clearing my mind & pointing the path towards reconnecting to my roots.

so corny. gosh. but it's valentine's day & this is my heart speaking & i'm not gonna censor for the fact that this glass of vino has persuaded me not to. & it's freaking valentine's day. so there.

ps. jeff's surprise was a key necklace from tiffany's. we have yet to purchase it, but he got it for me...... he has the key to my heart & i have his. ugh, too sacchrine sweet.

and now it hits me

like a ton of bricks.... i want to dance again. i want to be in a real studio with real dance clothes on dancing to real class music. it's weird to think back on how often i hated putting on tights, or putting my hair back, or hearing the same cd over & over again in class...... but now i have a deep ache..... it only took 5 months away from it to really sink in. the last class i took was around oct 9th. & up until now i wasn't feeling the urge too much.

jeff & i drove around for 2 hours yesterday trying to find a dance studio someone told me about. ok, let me take you back a little bit. we got to guam & not that i had a big desire to plop back into a studio, but i just wanted to know what options i had (that & i had used half of my suitcase to fit leotards, tights, shoes, thera-bands & even a pair of pointe shoes into & felt obligated to at least scope out the dance scene- still haven't gotten around to using any of those items)..... anyway, so i looked in the phone book under dance studios & there were about 5 or 6 (one title was completely written in chamorro, so i had no idea what type of dance studio it was). ok, now the guam phone book is not like in the states.... no address included, only a name & a number. so i called all the studios & only got machines & a surprising number of "this number is no longer in service"....... dead end.

so one day when i was driving to the dmv i spotted a dance store- a real dance store with bloch & capezio & sansha written all over the windows. didn't have time to stop in, but figured i'd come back one day & ask them about the dance scene in guam. well, go figure the day i go the store had closed, & not just closed to reopen the next day, but shut down. no more. only a "for rent" sign in the place where "sansha" had once been. dead end.

SO, on another day i went to a yoga class at the gym on base & saw a girl dressed in dance clothes- street clothes over her tights, hair in a bun, no mistaking- this girl dances. so i went up to her & asked politely if she was a dancer & of course, yes. so i chatted her up about where she danced, what kind of classes, etc. she told me about an adult ballet class on wed nights at body arts near the agana shopping center. awesome! so a few weeks pass, because i'm still not desperately wanting to hit the studio- still into the yoga/ pilates shift, the jewelry making, the looking into my "what other interests do i have in my life" phase...... but now i'm chomping at the bit to cram my feet into pointe shoes & all thoughts aside about how weak i am at this point, i just want to be in a studio!!!!! ...... so jeff & i set off yesterday to find this place. 2 hours of driving & we found the shopping center & no side street untraversed, we could not find it! & this studio is one of those where the number in the phone book doesn't work. another DEAD END.

so now, not sure what the next step is...... i'll just tombè my little (bigger) butt right back into the living room carpet dance scene, for now...... until the dance gods smile down on me & present some other options......

hmm... update.....

well, things are good..... jeff joined a soccer team, the toyota 4runners, & played a game last friday 4-0! yay! he has another game this saturday, go jeffy!

i am going to fill out an application & try to get a job teaching ballet to wee ones at the CDC (child development center), might even put in to sub at the elementary & middle school too while i'm at it. i talked to a woman at the CDC & she said they need a ballet teacher & that they'd have me in for an interview within a week or two ("with your credentials")..... so we'll see where that goes.....

making more jewelry, well working on one piece that is taking a while, every part of the necklace is a hand shaped wire chain thingy (working on my professional terminology) & it's taking forever to finish. but it'll be beautiful when it's done. i'll post pics later.....

so that i think covers it..... went to gab gab beach on sat, a baby shower on sun & jeff has some upcoming plan for valentine's day...... which, if you knew us (well, most of you do) you'd know that we don't really celebrate v day..... last year he sent me flowers, mostly because he had left for basic training the week before. we usually celebrate (everything - holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, "it's tuesday", "it's the weekend", "i haven't gone to the commissary") with our usual..... eating out! our weakness. so we'll see what he has up his sleeve for this weekend!

"way to go keeper"

on the sidelines

grilling out

lunch at the marina at navy (the water is gorgeous!)

winding wire jewelry

so i think i decided on a name for my jewelry...... winding wire. & i set up a facebook page! now here's hoping people will want to wear some of my pieces! i'm making a lot of new stuff & will have more photos soon! & eventually will have more necklaces.....

ps. i make custom pieces too! just got in a shipment of new gemstones - rose quartz, moss agate, yellow jasper & snowflake obsidian........