i don't know why, but....

i just started reading some of my previous posts from last year & came across this one & it made me really sad...... i really miss dancing. i feel a little lost without it. i can't really dance right now anyway (not fully because of my belly - no arabesques or port de corps forwards, etc)......... but i don't know when dance will be back. & that makes me want to cry (well i'm tearing up now), but i wish i knew that after the baby i'll return to dancing & teaching. & i'm scared that after these guam years i don't know where we'll be, who will hire me, will i still be able to dance after being "off" for so long? i feel like getting my mfa is a door back into the dance world, but knowing what's in store for us after guam is so unclear right now. i just know i love dance & i'm really missing it.......